In the fall of 2020 as the world was in a pandemonium and everything felt uncertain in my life, I went to a heart school called the 18 inch journey. If it sounds totally weird to you, you’re not alone, I didn’t really understand what it was until I did it.

Here’s how I got there:

2018-2019 was a really tough time for me as I wrestled through disappointment, life transition, and general existential angst, and during that time my little sister went to YWAM (Youth with a Mission) and I saw her heart come alive and love for Jesus burn bright in her like never before. When I would talk to her and see her interact with people I decided I needed something like that for myself. I felt asleep and my heart felt dull, I wasn’t really sure what to do with my life or where to put all my crushed hopes and broken dreams. It sounds dramatic but it’s really the state I was in going into 2020. I talked to a close friend that also did YWAM and asked her if she could see me there and she said, “The only school I could see you doing is the 18 inch journey with Jonathan and Melissa Helser.” And I thought, “I have no idea what that is.”

So I took to google and found the school’s mission. Here it is:

“Our mission is to proclaim the good news of the Gospel in all we do. From the songs we sing, to the schools and retreats we host, to every piece of art our hands make,  we long to see Heaven’s reality transform lives. 

Our passion is for broken hearts to be made whole again by the power of God’s presence and the beauty of discipleship. 

Our vision is to see sons and daughters take up their identities and live the abundant life that Jesus died to give them.” 

As soon as I read it I felt tears well up in my eyes: this, this was the hope I was looking for. I needed my broken heart to be made whole. My friend was right, this truly was the only place for me to go to come out of my funky season and become aware of the goodness of God again.

So I went. From September 4th - November 7th, 2020, and my life has never been the same. At the school I got to literally take the 18 inch journey — the journey from my head to my heart. After a lifetime of information about God I finally got the tools and the help I needed to truly walk out vibrant friendship with God all the time. This all built on the history I already had with God and helped me see just how much He’s valued our time together and the friendship we’d cultivated my entire life. It just gave language and brought truth to spaces in my heart I forgot existed. I learned how to honor my heart and my emotions by bringing them under Jesus’ leadership, and I also learned how to love and appreciate who God created me to be which in turn helped me better see who God made others to be. I learned how to appreciate beauty and simplicity so I can encounter God everywhere and in anything, whether I’m washing the dishes or at a wild worship night. It’s difficult to put into words just how much this school impacted me, but what probably created the most change in my life was that I learned how to ask for help.

That’s why I’m going back for Phase 2. I need more help. I have all these fears and insecurities that have been alive and well in my life for way too long. I have character issues and blindspots in my life that I need help seeing and transforming into the likeness of Christ. I still need leadership and mentorship in my life and I feel joy over taking an extended period of time to work those things out and discover more of who God created me to be along the way. I’m going back to finish what I started, not because another 6 month school is going to solve all my problems but because I know there is more for me and I believe this is the place God has set up for me to get there. On top of that, as a part of phase 2 I get to pour into this year’s phase 1 and give back to the school that has given me so much. It is my joy and privilege to get to serve this beautiful community and give them the first fruits of the victories they helped me cultivate. If you have more questions or want to talk about it more, feel free to email me! I would love to share more with you if you have the time. Thank you so much for being interested in my journey, I’ll keep this site updated with whatever happens next!